I’m sure any woman reading this will have an understanding of the ways in which we are shamed. We are shamed for how we dress, how we work, how we speak, how much we drink wine (ahem) Every little aspect of our lives is under scrutiny, all the time.
As a mother, this increases. Had to have a c-section? You failure. Didn’t breastfeed? Disgusting. Your child is eating purée from a jar? Don’t you know that’s poison? Shame, shame, shame.
This has been preying on my mind this week after the indomitable Mrs Kardashian West decided to post a picture of herself looking rather naked on Instagram. Usually the doings and goings of said Mrs KW are not of any particular interest to me – each to their own and all that, but then I noticed that a lot of the usual haters were using the line “OMG, she’s a mother, she should be ashamed of herself!”
Er, what?
So now we should also model our behaviour around the future potential embarrassment of our children?!
How about we do what we want, when we want, and stop giving a crap what other people think of us. How about we raise our kids to not be judgemental little toerags?
Be as naked as you like Kim, and raise your kids to be unashamed and proud of their Mum, even if you did used to get your knockers & noonoo out for a living/attention/whatever.
Down with the Mum shaming!
I was just talking to my husband this morning about the worry of breastfeeding and how other people might react to me breastfeeding in public (our first baby is due in June). Hopefully more people will think like you and attitudes will continue to change for the better. #KCACOLS
Once you have the baby, and it wants feeding, you won’t care about getting your boobs out! Or the bottle! Fed baby, happy baby doesn’t matter where it’s coming from 🙂 X
I totally agree with you here. I don’t see a problem with Kim’s photo! If she wants to share her body, then let her! #KCACOLS
I’m no fan of a culture in which women feel they have to use their bodies and their sexuality to get attention/a reaction, but comments about her being a mother are unacceptable and suggest that many people think that mothers should be held to different standards to the rest of humanity, which is of course ridiculous. It’s part of a wider culture that tends to see women as either the Virgin Mary or the seductress. #KCACOLS
Exactly. I’m kind of torn between body selling / bad, body / nothing bloody wrong with them stance…!
It’s awful how we are shamed about life with our babies, whether it’s feeding, dressing, weaning etc. What’s important is that you and your baby are happy, not what other people think. I really enjoyed reading this blog post, very thought provoking. Claire X #KCACOLS
Thank you. I really feel like we can’t do anything right sometimes.
Here here! I couldn’t care less what the women does but her posting a naked picture has nothing to do with being a good mother or not.
I’ve had my fair share of mum shaming because I formula feed and also I get it weekly on my blogs Facebook page whenever I post something to do with what my children eat. They are happy and healthy children and I know I’m doing the best I can, no amount of Facebook trolls will make me doubt myself. Great post! #bigpinklink
Thanks! It really bugs me! Your adult behaviour usually has very little to do with your mothering capabilities xx
Exactly! Mums are some of the greatest people I have ever met but also some of the most judgmental
Very well said! Good on Kim K for sharing her body….She is stunning. She’s the type of person who will get hate for whatever she does which is wrong. #bigpinklink
It’s awful that this kind of mum shaming normally comes at a time when women are feeling most insecure about themselves – struggling to get to grips with being a mum, and wanting so badly to get it right. I’ve found that whatever choice you make as a mum you can’t win – someone will criticise it and there seems to be a negative label out there for every parenting choice you make. Or even non-parenting choices, as in the Kim Kardashian case! Apparently once you’re a mum everything you do is up for public criticism! #bigpinklink
Yep, as is everything we do! Thanks for commenting xx
I’m pretty sure embarrassing the children is on the Mum job spec! They will be embarrassed of our behaviour whatever we do 🙂
x Alice
#kcacols
They certainly embarrass us enough!! 🙂
That’s for sure!
I wrote something sort of similar, kind of, about this recently because I kept seeing so much mum shame about work choices…and in the work I do I sometimes get a bit of hate which annoys me to know end because it’s usually down to lack of understanding. Either way we need more of a mummy sisterhood, support network and a few ‘well dones’ along this journey we decide to take however we take it. Down with the shaming #bigpinklink
A sisterhood generally! We’re all in the same boat at the end of the day. Thanks for commenting xx
I wasn’t keen on Kim K getting nude, I’m kind of indifferent to her actually, although her ‘dipped in lube’ pics made me heave! However, the reason I don’t agree with it, has nothing to do with her being a mum, I just think that she has such a massive following of young girls that she needs to be a bit more responsible with her influence. I think as a mum you should absolutely do what you want, (within reason, nothing that could be harmful to the kids obv!), but when you have so much social power, you need to be a bit more thoughtful. To be totally honest, she just irritates me, how on earth did she get so damn famous anyway. And what for?!?!?!?! 😀 Thanks for linking up and sorry to rant! #bigpinklink
That said, I wish women would find better ways to make a living than selling themselves to men, which a lot of that is.
I think I’m with you on this one. I don’t have a problem with nudity and think we should be proud of our bodies no matter what but it’s the teaching young girls that sex & nudity is the way to make money that just doesn’t sit well with me. It’s kind of like if you want to be ‘successful’ you don’t have to work hard or study or do something worthwhile, you just have to get your foofoo out for the world, and not your natural one at that. You have to be pumped & plumped and edited #twinklytuesday
I know! As if it doesn’t change us enough! Thanks for commenting 🙂
That piccy made me feel sick! She is just a horrible human being really. When her kids are older and see that. I hope they are really ashamed. Great post! Xx #twinklytuesday ps I sound a bit harsh but that pic really surprised me!!
Was she totally naked intially? Because might be slightly more ‘Urgh’ then, but the one I saw was censored. And have you seen the comments on the ones Liam from 1D posted of himself in the buff? No comments of the sort on there, it’s all woohoo and drool central. I would want my kids to think, well that’s embarrassing – like all parents – but not ashamed. Thanks for commenting 😀 xx
I haven’t seen any of the Kim photos *whispers – where have I been?*. I have heard they are very urrmmm extreme, and it’s not something that I would fully support doing. But… it’s not my life, its hers. Mum shaming or any shaming in fact is terrible. If we all stuck together, this whole mum malarky would be that much easier. #TwinklyTuesday xx
That’s what I think – I wouldn’t do it, and think it’s a bit grim, but I’m no angel and I’m certainly not going to make anyone feel bad about their choices. Thanks for commenting xx
I think there is to much judgement and shaming, but personally I think I am my worst judge sometimes, need to learn to be more laid back. Is it bad that the picture of a glass of wine drew me to this post! #TwinklyTuesday
Haha, nope! Wiiiineee 😀
I didn’t realise how much this goes on until I had my daughter. I am trying to just do what works for us and not worry about what other people think but it’s easier said than done. #TwinklyTuesday
Well said! You are right there is so much mum shaming that goes on and there really isn’t any need for it.
I felt terribly guilty when I couldn’t breastfeed and was so wary of bottle feeding in public to begin with but then I realised that it’s my decision and that I had every right to do what worked for me and my baby!
Thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on Sunday xx
I’ll certainly endeavour to be there! Thanks for commenting xx
Cheers to that! I would hate to have someone judge me.. So therefore no judgement from me!!! X
This describes my feelings perfectly. I even changed my hair colour because it seemed too bright and not ‘mumsy’ enough!
Some mums will opt for a Happy Meal rather than homemade cucumber sandwiches shaped into love hearts, washed down with a kale and spinach smoothie for our children. But it doesn’t make us any less loving or capable.
Some people love to judge and mothers are an easy target. I’m expecting number 3, I wish I knew on my first what I know now, that some people will delight in making themselves feel better by making you doubt yourself. I wish I had the confidence in my abilities as a mum that I do now. All any mother needs to do is look at her children – are they happy? They are the only ones who can (eventually) criticise what you did. None of us know what we’re doing, we’re muddling through as best we can.