Are you accident prone? I am something of a Calamity Jane, and so it would seem, is my little sister! Jos has very graciously decided to let me share her story of woe (hilarious, but painful woe)
We were round there for a BBQ the other weekend and it was lovely. Cocktails, sausages, steak and Jenga. Is there much better? Anyway, the next day Jos sent me a picture of her hands, which looked a little bit blistered. She thought they might have gotten sunburnt. This got progressively worse – a friend diagnosed urticaria, and allergy to cleaning wipes. Only it wasn’t. It’s Margarita Burn!! Also known as phytophotodermatitis – a severe burn caused by squeezing limes and then sitting in the sun! Poor Jos.
This got me thinking to all the stupid ways I have damaged myself. Most of them do involve that wonderful aid liquor. There was the time I got locked out the cabin we were sleeping in (due to everyone else being unconscious inside) and I decided piling logs end to end would be an excellent ladder. Giant bruise on my leg would say otherwise. Or the time I knocked my tooth out. Or the time I faceplanted into the pavement getting out of a taxi.
I asked some fellow bloggers if they had any similarly calamity moments and they did not disappoint me!
H from Hi Baby Blog “I jumped off a bunkbed and tried to land on a single bed but I overestimated the distance and ended up on the other side of the room badly injuring my bum on am the corner of the skirting board”
R from Coffee, Cake, Kids “A few years ago (like 15 years ago) I was just a little bit (a lot) drunk. We were at my friends messing about and play fighting with my then boyfriend’s mate. I attempted to do a high kick – which I could actually do back them – but slipped. Ended up with a prolapsed disc in my spine! Of course, at the time it didn’t hurt because of the copious amounts of cheap lager and lambrini in my system, but it bloody hurt for the next two months!”
K from Katy Kicker ” I broke my wrist washing my hair once – not sure if that counts? 😀 I only slipped about 4 inches and smashed my wrist in two places!”
C from Mumsy Midwife ” I fell over leaving the GP surgery and broke my elbow, when I went back in they wouldn’t see me because I hadn’t got an appointment (I’d just seen the doctor)”
C from Rock n’Roll Pussycat “I gave myself a nasty cut on the side of my face while staying at a hotel at Heathrow airport the night before a flight to Russia. I was bored so decided I’d see if I could fit inside a storage unit underneath the TV”
L from With Love From Lou “I once slipped on the stairs while carrying a basket full of washing down. The clothes flew out and went everywhere and I managed to hit every step before landing in the basket at the bottom! I cracked my forehead on the cupboard as I landed and I was so dazed I was just sat there for ages! I’m still super cautious when I bring washing down now and that happened years ago!”
S from Man vs Pink “When I was about 5, I thought my mini-golf putter looked like a snorkel. I also thought it looked like a vaulting pole. So I combined the two, and attempted to pole vault with it in my mouth. Ripped a big flap of skin open on the top of my pallet. I imagine I cried a lot too”
E from Island Living 365 “After a night out and feeling a bit tipsy-woo I had come home. Being the considerate housemate that I was 😉, I had crept into the living room in the dark. Only they had decided that it would be hilarious to rearrange the furniture. So I ended up falling over the sofa, and flying through the air. I ended up with a carpet burn just above my lip. It resembled a moustache of a certain dictator. I had just started dating Mr C too. The next day I had to give a work presentation. I was mortified. The best bit was that when I laughed the scab cracked and bled. Attractive. Not.”
E from Mummy and Monkeys “I’ve got a scar on my knee from when I was doing a somersault on the trampoline and my own tooth went into my knee! J recently broke his nose when he was trying to take a short cut to get a coffee from the football pitch. He jumped over a fence only to catch his leg on the way down and face planted the pavement!”
N from Tattooed Mummy “I fell down a rabbit hole while walking the dog and broke my foot, does that count? (I’m not called Alice)”
E from Emily and Indiana “When I was younger I broke my leg going down a slide – I was with my siblings and we were going down in a ‘train’ (you know one behind each other). I must have turned funny and it broke. Looking back its still funny”
L from The Parenting Game” I went into the garden, to fetch my husband’s favourite pants, tripped over the back door, fell into my house and broke my elbow, wrist and two ribs! He now gets his own pants off the line!”
H from Fab Fat Mama “I tore my cruciate ligament in my knee dancing to move like michael jackson on the xbox kinect..”
B from Pinks Charming “I opened my own car door into my nose. I gave my self two massive cuts, one on my nose and one on my cheek, and also two black eyes. A week before Christmas. I looked like I’d been boxing. I still have a scar on my nose nearly two years on”
J from Seaside Belle “When I was on honeymoon we tried to take a shortcut to the marina. I was so busy admiring the view that I didn’t notice the manhole with no cover on it. I fell straight down and impaled my foot on a stopcock with no tap on it (aka a rusty pipe). Spent the rest of the honeymoon on crutches and came home in a wheelchair”
K from Confessions of a New Mummy “I was doing up a chair I’d brought cheap and one night, just before bed I decided to try and tackle the staples underneath but wedging a pair of scissors underneath them and pushing. Even now I think why the hell did I do it…. straight into my hand, narrowly missing the tendons and important stuff. Blood spurting out everywhere, I’ve never felt so sick (or stupid). That required a late night trip to the hospital and several stitches and I have a large scar on my hand now to remind me not to be so stupid”
N from NELC3 “When I was about 7 and my brother was about 9 we decided to have a race. We had an alleyway next door to our house so decided to use that as our ‘track’. The difference was I was barefoot running and my brother was on his bike.
We both thought we could beat each other.
He gave me a very slight head start. I steamed off (I was quite a fast runner back then). I got three-quarters to the end and could hear my brother passing me on his bike. He just beat me to the end, but as he was going so fast and was desperate to beat me, he didn’t brake in time and carried on into the road and got hit by a car! He’s fine, he didn’t get badly injured, but did get checked over by paramedics. I had to run back home and tell my parents what had hapened and was trailing blood from my feet as I had run through glass whilst trying to beat my brother!
Parents gave us both a good telling off! Poor driver too, but my brother had to apologise to them too”
L from Leonie Amber “I had a collie dog run into my leg at 8 years old which torn my ligament my friend then ran away with her dog and hid thinking a dog catcher would come take her dog away and left me on the floor crying ”
There were more too that I don’t have time right now to write up, but I’ll leave you with my very favourite:
“I dislocated my shoulder trying to do a yoga position in bed!” from C of Claire’s Little Tots
Do you have any similarly hilarious accidents? Please let me know and maybe I’ll do a round 2!