Forgive me, Social Media, for I have sinned.
I have committed the sin of using chocolate as both bribe and distraction whenever I need to do something, or get some peace and quiet.
I have committed the sin of letting my child stay up late watching a movie, because I could not face the hassle of getting him to bed at a reasonable hour.
I have committed the sin of comparing my child to children portrayed on other parenting blogs and feeling hard done by, and possibly of wishing zits upon the noses of their mothers.
I have committed the sin of referring to my child as a little shitbag out of earshot when he has been winding me up all day.
I have committed the sin of threatening my child with “God is watching you!”, even though I am a borderline athiest.
I have committed the sin of shutting myself in the toilet and playing Panda Pop just to get five minutes to myself.
I have committed the sin of wishing I was like other mothers who think the sun shines out of their offspring’s bottoms, when the only things that comes out of my child’s rear end are the most despicably smelly popoffs.
In the name of the Facebook, the Twitter, and the Holy Instagram, Post.