Crummy Mummy

The boy has been singing a lovely song recently – it’s good to know that a disgusting song about pooping yourself is still doing the rounds some thirty years after I was singing it myself. Do you remember the Diarrhoea song?! Do you remember the tune? I’ve now got it in my head, but instead of “Diarrhoea, Diarrhoea” I’ve been making up lyrics for “Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy” instead…here’s so far!

When the morning hurts your head

You’re already longing for your bed

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy

When your manicure is chipped

And all your tights are bloody ripped

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy

Now you’re running for the gate

And the kids are yelling “Late!”

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy

It’s only 10 o’clock

Now there’s vomit on your frock

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy

You forgot the kids homework

And you’re feeling like a berk

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy

All the other Mum’s at school

Think that you’re a clutzy fool

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy

Then you see that little face

And the little legs that race

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy

Now you’re wrapped up in a cuddle

And you don’t feel such a muddle

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy

For once they sleep on time

And you’ve got that glass of wine

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy

You’ll pass out before 10

Before beginning it again

Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy


What verses could you add?



25 thoughts on “Crummy Mummy

  1. I love it!!

    Baby shat through his clothes
    Where’s the wipe? No one knows.
    Crummy mummy, crummy mummy
    Dribble stains all over my dress
    I’m sure I look an absolute mess
    crummy mummy, crummy mummy
    But isn’t it wonderful to be a mummy
    So much love in my tummy!!

    Hahaha sorry that was terrible. #triballove

  2. I can’t believe how well I remember this tune, even though I had totally forgotten it until I read this post. And I find it even more incredulous that kids are still singing it at school! Okay, here goes: Dry banana in her hair, that stain on her leggings – don’t go there! Crummy mummy, crummy mummy. #Chucklemums

  3. How do I not know this song? Maybe I just went to school with some very robust gutted yoofs…I’m sure there’s a verse to be had about skid marks but I’m not quite up to that at 7am #Chucklemums

  4. When they’re giving you the shits
    So for dinner they get chips
    Crummy Mummy, Crummy Mummy
    OK…so not very nice and not a perfect rhyme, but dealing with revolting dinner chaos right this second!!! And they did actually get vegetables…. #Chucklemums

  5. Wow – I can’t believe I actually remember this song! My brain is too shattered to think of a good rhyme – it would have to be something about forgetting wet wipes, which I managed to do twice last week. #chucklemums

  6. Love this. You’ve got such a way with a rhyme. Mother would add:
    When you’ve got sick on your jacket
    Another day, can you hack it?
    Crummy mummy, crummy mummy
    This is because her boss always laughs at the drool/vom covering her shoulders! 😉 #chucklemums

  7. Haha you are such a poet! Love this – I am definitely in the Crummy Mummy crowd and usually wearing clothes with vom, dribble and snot on…all part of the look 😉 Thanks for hosting #chucklemums xx

  8. My god, that song is a blast from the past! I used to love singing that at primary school, even though I didn’t know what diarrhoea was…! Very funny.

  9. Ah, the diarrhoea song! Wasn’t it to the tune of “Mamma Mia” by Abba? I have only the faintest recollection of it, to be honest (probably for the best). You should make these poems a regular feature! #chucklemums

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