Every New Bloggers Timeline

I’ve been blogging for a while now – two years, two months and two days to be precise. I just checked – how poetic! Anyway, don’t worry I’m not about to write some crappy poem about blogging but rather about some things I’ve noticed about blogging – things that we all seem to do. Having recently started helping out an old friend who has started a blog (he has recently become a Dad to triplets – check it out!), it’s made me realise that we all seem to have a timeline of sorts..and it’s quite funny really so I thought I would write up the Newbie Bloggers Timeline!

  • Thinks hmm, I might start a blog. I like writing, how hard can it be?
  • Starts a trial with a website builder
  • Wonders why website doesn’t look like a blog
  • Realises should have been using a blogging application
  • Gets a WordPress account
  • Spends hours choosing a name
  • Realise thirty other bloggers are called almost exact same thing
  • Spend three days trying to figure out how to set up sodding facebook page
  • Write anonymously for three posts then get bored of calling your kid by an initial or silly nickname
  • Get bored of WordPress.org and decide you want THEMES
  • Panic for three days while your blog migrates
  • Join parent blogger groups on Facebook
  • What is DA?
  • What is a follow link?
  • Why does Instagram hate me?
  • Wonder what the point of Google+ is
  • Realise it’s nearly Halloween and run and buy a last minute crappy facepaint kit from Co-op
  • Find the face paint two weeks before Christmas and realise you forgot about Halloween crafting
  • Get an email offering you £30 for a post from Love The Sales and nearly wet yourself with excitement
  • What is TOTS100?
  • Become obsessed with your stats. Discover you’ve put your google analytics code in 17 times by accident and realise, sadly, that you probably aren’t getting 489278 hits a day. More like 5.
  • Forget to write any posts for six months
  • Log into your blog twitter account and find out that despite not tweeting for six months you have somehow got two thousand followers. Hurrah!
  • Start blogging again
  • Discover Canva and make your own headers. Delete them after three days because they are crap.
  • Get a BritMums ticket
  • Spend half the morning hiding in corners at Britmums before bumping into someone you virtually “know”. Hurrah!
  • Get drunk and steal wine off the tables before humiliating yourself in front of a mega blogger (just me? Maybe…)
  • Decide to start your own linky!
  • Realise a linky is a ginormous pain in your ass
  • Try and fob off said linky on unaware newbies. You are now a pro-blogger!

Have I missed any steps?

Disclaimer: I have totally based this on my own experiences. But yours are the same, right? 😀

R is for Hoppit

8 thoughts on “Every New Bloggers Timeline

  1. Yes to all of this. Except the blogging conference attendance as I know I would get drunk which is a bad move being in a room with 100 people who have Facebook live. So I look like an unsociable, unfriendly git not meeting people. Loving this post…xx

  2. So funny – I’m hoping to get to the drinking wine with virual friends at a Blogging Conference next! I also really need to get on with self-hosting, and about a milion other ‘jazzing up my blog’ goals! #FridayFrolics

  3. Ahahaha, so very, very true. Apart from you humilating yourself in front of mega blogger. I was there and you didn’t! At least you didn’t shout “Tiiiiiiiiiiim” #FridayFrolics

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