Every New Bloggers Timeline

I’ve been blogging for a while now – two years, two months and two days to be precise. I just checked – how poetic! Anyway, don’t worry I’m not about to write some crappy poem about blogging but rather about some things I’ve noticed about blogging – things that we all seem to do. Having recently started helping out an old friend who has started a blog (he has recently become a Dad to triplets – check it out!), it’s made me realise that we all seem to have a timeline of sorts..and it’s quite funny really so I thought I would write up the Newbie Bloggers Timeline!

• Thinks hmm, I might start a blog. I like writing, how hard can it be?
• Starts a trial with a website builder
• Wonders why website doesn’t look like a blog
• Realises should have been using a blogging application
• Gets a WordPress account
• Spends hours choosing a name
• Realise thirty other bloggers are called almost exact same thing
• Spend three days trying to figure out how to set up sodding facebook page
• Write anonymously for three posts then get bored of calling your kid by an initial or silly nickname
• Get bored of WordPress.org and decide you want THEMES
• Panic for three days while your blog migrates
• Join parent blogger groups on Facebook
• What is DA?
• What is a follow link?
• Why does Instagram hate me?
• Wonder what the point of Google+ is
• Realise it’s nearly Halloween and run and buy a last minute crappy facepaint kit from Co-op
• Find the face paint two weeks before Christmas and realise you forgot about Halloween crafting
• Get an email offering you £30 for a post from Love The Sales and nearly wet yourself with excitement
• What is TOTS100?
• Become obsessed with your stats. Discover you’ve put your google analytics code in 17 times by accident and realise, sadly, that you probably aren’t getting 489278 hits a day. More like 5.
• Forget to write any posts for six months
• Log into your blog twitter account and find out that despite not tweeting for six months you have somehow got two thousand followers. Hurrah!
• Start blogging again
• Discover Canva and make your own headers. Delete them after three days because they are crap.
• Get a BritMums ticket
• Spend half the morning hiding in corners at Britmums before bumping into someone you virtually “know”. Hurrah!
• Get drunk and steal wine off the tables before humiliating yourself in front of a mega blogger (just me? Maybe…)
• Decide to start your own linky!
• Realise a linky is a ginormous pain in your ass
• Try and fob off said linky on unaware newbies. You are now a pro-blogger!

Have I missed any steps?

Disclaimer: I have totally based this on my own experiences. But yours are the same, right? 😀