I Am Not A Super Mum

I am not a Super Mum

Parenting is just scary

I forget to wash your uniform

And don’t feed you enough dairy

I mutter *f*ck* beneath my breath

Several times a day

Especially when you start to rage

That things aren’t going your way

(I’m ever so slightly incompetent

In the wifely department too

I really should devote more time

To making time for you)

Son, you need a haircut

Your fringe is rather long

But that’s another thing on the list

Of everything I do wrong.

I’m rubbish on the school run

I don’t look very glam

I’m not sure what’s got down my jeans

I suppose it could be jam?

There aren’t enough hours in the day

For work, cleaning and the dog

You only need to glance at my waist

To see I have no time to jog

No, I’m not a Super Mum

But I try harder every day

To be an almost Half-Decent Mum

(And I know you love me, anyway)



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