I’ve been looking forward to Sports Day for ages.
I loved it as a child, especially when we used to do the fun stuff like the obstacle race and the egg and spoon race. I never liked later sports days – I was always coerced into running the 1500 or 800 metres, even though I have the stamina of an elderly frog. I once faked a collapse after about 273m in order to just stop the pain.
I was rather upset to hear that there would be no parent races. I guess such debacles as the great Sports Day Fiasco of 1987, when, on a single day, no less than two pairs of trousers were split up the bottom and three Dad’s got in a fight in the threelegged race after some poor sportsmanship and bad refereeing, have put schools off. That and being sued for twanged achilles heels and the like.
It’s probably for the best, I have a usually well hidden competitive streak that likes to rear its ugly head on such occasions. I would undoubtedly have had to be carried from the field, muscles torn, the prize (no doubt wrestled from the actual winner, as I would have come last) clutched in my sweaty palms. There would have been sulking had I not won, and I probably would have stooped to any length to win, including but not limited to: tripping, pushing, biting and bribery.
But I digress, my long awaited glory was not to be, and I had to cheer on the boy instead. And try not to giggle at the ineptness of 5 year olds. They were adorable, but rubbish.
Here’s a commentary on the races:
“Windsor have dropped the ball again. Ben picks it up – no Ben! Over your head, Ben! And here’s Katie with the egg on the spoon…and she’s dropped it. Up it comes! Oh, it’s fallen off again. And again. Katie you aren’t allowed to KICK the egg over the finish line. Dayyan, stay in your lane! Stop looking at your Mum, you’re going to…Alfie, are you ok? No, I’m sure Dayyan didn’t run into you and knock you into Stefan and Ned on purpose. Come on, let’s start this one again…”
It was all in all though, everything I expected. And I was very proud that the boy won his individual race. IN YOUR FACES, OTHER MOTHERS! Ahem…