The Parent Hangover

Well I remember those Halcyon days. You could go out, get rat-bottomed, and spend the next day hiding under the covers with only occasional forays into the wilderness for tea and marmite toast. You could flop on the sofa and remain there, and if you were lucky your weak bleats for nurofen might be answered by a missile of said magic pills from a passing housemate.

Now though. Oh dear god. Firstly, it’s the morning cry of “Maaaammyyyy!” “MAAAAAMMMMYYYYY” which drags you from your sick bed. You will probably be greeted with the words “Urgh Mummy why have you got fart breath?”

If you are really lucky, there might be a nappy situation waiting for you. Good luck keeping the acid remains of that “oh go on then, just one (four) more” drink down when presented with poo in your child’s hair.

Then it’s downstairs for endless games of snakes and fecking ladders, which you have to deliberately lose to avoid head-splitting wails of indignation from your uber competitive child. Your cries of pain will go unanswered by him indoors, who instead seems to think telling you that it’s entirely your own fault is somehow a sufficient replacement for tea and sympathy and drugs.

There is no lolling to be had, and pleading with your child to have a movie and a snuggle will not work. And why? Because they know when you are hungover. It’s some sort of child 6th sense. They save their most demonic behaviour especially for that ONE time you forgot yourself and accidentally drank 17 kopperburgs*

So it would seem that drinking is to be a thing of that past. It’s just not worth the additional pain and suffering. I’ve gotten really good at not getting to hangover point, but sometimes I slip up and then it’s WELCOME TO HELL. *cries*

*disclaimer. I have never accidentally drunk 17 kopperburgs. Not 17 anyway.Β 

Β 

It seemed like a reallllly good idea at the timeΒ 

73 thoughts on “The Parent Hangover

  1. Ha! I definitely can’t drink like I used to – these days, a glass or two of wine is about all I can manage before I fall asleep. I can’t remember the last time I had a hangover – I don’t think I could handle one while chasing after a very active and demanding baby! #bestandworst

  2. I cannot remember the last time I had a hangover. It was definitely pre little man so 19 months ago, then take out being pregnant….um, a long time then! Whenever I have a drink, it does stop me drinking more having to get up at 6.30am the next day and deal with a toddler #bestandworst

  3. Definitely can’t get drunk anymore although it has happened on very few occasions πŸ˜‰ I’m sure my kids know because they always seem to wake up earlier on those days! It’s too painful.

  4. Hahha! I don’t think ive ever had a hangover. I’ve never been much of a drinker. One glass of wine puts me to sleep so I can’t stay up long enough to get one! #kcacols

  5. Yep, those days are over! We had a girly night out on Friday night, I didn’t even drink as I was the designated driver but because I had an unusually late night and little man woke up at 5:45am (you know because it’s the weekend, Monday he’ll be laying in till 6:30am because I have to go to work!) I felt like I had a hang over. It’s time to admit those days are long gone x #KCACOLS

  6. I rarely have a drink. Sometimes I fully intend to but it just never happens either because I fall asleep or just don’t even finish the glass! These days the hangover just isn’t worth it, children are not good for hangovers and they last far too long! #kcacols

  7. Ah, those pre-baby days seem so long ago!! Nope, definitely no chance of a lie-in and/or recovery time with small people about. Just have to do what my mjum did and save some sort fo youth regression thing (coming home drunk, skinny dipping, Ibiza holidays etc etc, I kid you not) for when they’re in their 20s!!

  8. Ha ha It always seems like such a good idea! And it is so much fun at the time. But the next day…. oh dear God! I can’t cope with hangovers anymore I’m useless. Yet I still love Prosecco – what’s a girl to do!! xx #bigpinklink

  9. I still drink but definitely not as often or much. I do still have a binge with friends from time to time but I am wondering if it’s worth it. #bigpinklink Lifeinthemumslane

  10. Haha love this. I used to get seriously bad hangovers where I would throw up all day, I definitely wouldn’t be able to handle one like that now!! I felt a bit ropey the first time I had a few drinks after having the baby but I hadn’t factored in how much my tolerance would have changed in 9 months of not drinking! #bigpinklink

  11. Oooooh the paaaaaaaaaiiin!!!!!!! (Although I’d totally do that bottle in that you’re holding!! It made me want to down a bottle of prosecco right now!!) when both my children napped in the afternoon for 2-3 hours, I’d often go out and overindulge the night before! I could drag myself through the morning, but look forward to snuggling back into bed with the same hangover cure as you favour-marmite on toast! And preferably some full sugar Coke, and watch Greys Anatomy for 3 hours while I recovered. But now 1 doesn’t nap, and the other has a shorter nap, I can’t do it, even though I’ve still got big nights out in me, I just won’t do it!!
    Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink!

  12. This was me this week….with a 3 month old. I went to a gig in London and had planned to just have a few drinks, it was a Tuesday night so I assumed my friends wouldn’t want to go big as they have work in the morning. BOY was I wrong! Process, Jagerbombs, and Gin and Tonic please! And in that order.

    Anyway, can totally relate. I’m still debating if it’s worth it or not because I did have A LOT of fun. I think I’ve decided to just cut down how often I go out…obviously pre-baby and pre-pregnancy it was once a week, now it’s looking like once a month…maybe.

    Thanks for linking up with #StayClassy!

  13. I rarely drink these days but oh my god when I do and am hungover the boys just know!!! They are extra loud and shouty, they constantly ask questions or need you (offering daddy does NOT work!) and they want to jump in your head when you are trying to stay still on the sofa!!

    It’s always such a good idea at the time but my how you pay for it the next day!!! Lol

    Thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on 2nd April when the linky opens again. xx

  14. Instead of writing ‘Please Drink Responsibly’ on labels they should just put a picture of a baby next to a clock that reads 5.30am. It just doesn’t seem worth the pain anymore… #chucklemums

    1. Genius! That would totally work. Well, you would probably ignore it like you ignore the drink responsibly sign but it might be worth a try! Thanks for commenting on the first #chucklemums ! Xx

  15. Love Nursery Whines’ idea. I can’t drink *properly* any more either. The Queen’s birthday in India they’ve just had over there with ‘strongest G&Ts known to man’ actually makes my toes curl at the thought. Thanks for reminding me I can’t do 17 glasses of wine any longer either πŸ™‚ #chucklemums

  16. Hangovers are just not worth it anymore! Not had any ‘poo in the hair’ incidents just yet but I think that would make me give up drinking for ever (as I would most probably vomit on my child’s head if their pooey hair came near my hungover self and that’s traumatising for all involved) #chucklemums

  17. Oh i know it well.Those nights are far and few between. The last time I spent the entire day moaning and grunting and telling my husband “kill me now”…it was the worst…..Thanks nature for survival mode once we got back home…..

  18. Hahaha, that picture…surely always a good idea!! Ugh, this makes me feel a bit hungover reading it. It’s the early morning and mid afternoon slump that’s so hard I find when feeling ill with small people. #chucklemums

  19. Oh my god, I totally feel your pain. My hangovers were already the worst pre-kids but now….oh man! I’ve found myself turning down drinks just at the thought of what the following morning will bring, and that’s just no fun!
    #chucklemums

    1. Oh I know! I never used to turn down a drink. Now I have been spotted trying to kill plants with not so discreetly jettisoned sambucca πŸ™ Thanks so much for commenting #chucklemums

  20. Haha I enjoy the the disclaimer about the Koppabergs, you’re not expressly saying you don’t recommend it, you just haven’t achieved it yet!

    I’m lucky enough never have been hungover this time round because I’ve been rendered such a lightweight now I’m nearly 30 that I throw up after three and wake up normal!

    #chucklemums

  21. I had the daddy of all daddy hangovers on Sunday. Happily my sons were in an entirely different county. This is literally the only way I can do this now. #chucklemums

  22. I went through this pain on Saturday after a few “sherbets” on Friday night. I always seem to forget how bad it is the next morning starting around 6am when the youngest bursts into our bedroom! Thanks for hosting #chucklemums

  23. It was my 30th birthday last week, drank 2 bottles of wine to myself, hubbie didn’t get a look in. You only turn 30 once, but by god im still suffering this week. Cant drink like i used to.

  24. I wish I had the energy to and the staying power to drink 17 kopperburg’s – these days 2 would probably end in the mother of all hangovers. Need to retrain in the ways of alcohol, but can’t face dealing with the minions with a pounding head and a queasy tummy! #chucklemums

  25. I appear to be like a goldfish… forever using the words “never again”, until my goldfish brain forgets the pain I endured and I do it all over again! Thanks so much for hosting this great linky #chucklemums

  26. I haven’t been out for a while but when i do, i really seem to go for it and end up being sick all the next day…i literally cant drink any more. phoebe will often laugh and try and open the door! i was almost sick on her once….thanks for sharing such a funny post! #chucklemums

      1. That’s a great way of describing it, mine is more violent so Phoebe goes “baaahhhhh” almost like a sheep having a fit! Luckily she’s not clever enough to tell people, only time will tell eh! Thanks for hosting and creating a link I can add my funny posts, hope it went well πŸ™‚

  27. Oh I had an epic one last weekend it was horrible. Boy do we pay for those nights out, you’re right it rarely seems worth it the next day…yet when someone pops the prosecco I can’t seem to turn the other way! Like you say, always seems like a good idea at the time #chucklemums xx

  28. Oh yes. I’ve earned my parenting hangover badge and it is best avoided. Luckily I had the good idea to get pregnant thus banishing alcohol from my life for 9 months. But in future if I slip up I now have 2 children to cope with. Oops…..

  29. I had a couple of hangover days when my son was very little, when i didnt feel like going out….but was forced to because getting out and being social was good for me!… not so good for me the next morning when greeted by crying and needing to manage a baby on my own while the man went to work. its the worst! i don’t miss the hangovers, but i do miss the going out and being social, I think as a mum every now and then you need to go out and have some fun, non mummy time. its healthy. but now i know how to do it so i don’t get to wake up and regret having that extra drink/s πŸ™‚ im sure there will be times coming in the future i really need to let loose, and i will regret it big time, but i appreciate the fun times more now that there rare.

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