When it’s just not fun

This isn’t an easy post to write. A confession of sorts.

Sometimes, being a parent is just shit.

It’s picking up clothes and toys that have been strewn all over the house again and again. Appeals to pick them up are met with “No”

It’s being punched and kicked when you need them to do something they don’t want to do. What are you supposed to do? Cajoling won’t work. Reason doesn’t exist in a stubborn child’s head.

It’s knowing that you shouldn’t cave in to incessant whinging for sweets and chocolate but it just goes on and on and on and on and on until you cave. You just feel so weak and useless.

It’s being so desperate for them to just go to bed on time, just this once, so you can have dinner and sit and just relax for ten minutes that you want to cry when there are endless pleas and wailing for “one more tiny minute”

It’s hating yourself for leaving them with someone else when you just need time to recalibrate, to balance your all encompassing love for them with your desire to get to be yourself, alone, just for a little while.

It’s crying because you shouted at them when, at the end of the day, they are just learning about the world, and they need you to teach them, not to shout at them because it’s just so frustrating when they won’t put their bloody shoes on.

All of these memes, and poems, and the guilt trips from people who don’t have children and desperately want them, drilling it in to you that you should be cherishing every single moment that every time you do something might be the last, that they’ll slip away and grow up before you even realise. I know that’s true. I know it.

So why is it so hard?

Little boy, I love you so much, I’m so proud of you it makes my eyes sting, but being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Diary of an imperfect mum

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41 thoughts on “When it’s just not fun

  1. Oh I love this!! It has made me feel a little less shitty about our day yesterday. Parenting is hard, so hard at times. It’s like an endurance test and then comes bedtime and you feel guilty for how you reacted to the situation but hindsight is a wonderful thing and we ain’t perfect! You are doing a brilliant job!! ps I think my two are actually addicted to ice-lollies πŸ˜‰

  2. Hope you’re okay – it can be so hard some days and I also just long for bed time although it makes me feel bad. Those quotes really irritate me too, like I’m supposed to cherish every single second. No, some of those seconds are just not meant to be cherished! Xx ps: on another note loving your new theme ☺️

  3. Every mum has days like this but you need to be strong and put boundaries and discipline in place – even if that makes you ‘bad cop’. If you don’t you’ll have no chance when they hit their teens. I recommend a large glass of wine and a copy of Supernanny xxx

  4. Oh my, I think just about EVERY parent who reads this – and hopefully many non-parents too! – will want to hug you and give you a big glass of wine! Hear the echoes of YESSSS from all of us who’ve had these shitty moments! The times we find ourselves hoovering for the third time in one day and screaming, “Why did I bloody bother???!!!!” The times we look at our ransacked home and remember the days when it was a pleasure to show it to visitors. The times we can’t understand how someone less than half our size can have so much control over our lives and how, despite being bigger than them, I can’t get them to do what I want them to do! The times I shout at my girls and they LAUGH. The times I lose it.

    But.

    Have you forgotten the times you felt you’d got it right? The times you make him giggle? The times you illicit a cuddle? The times he makes you laugh? The times you wonder what life would be without him? The times you realise you’re an awesome mama who’s just human, doing the best she can?

    None of us is perfect. And none of us have walked in your shoes. Keep going hun; one day, your boy will look back and remember that although mommy sometimes lost it, she was also bloody great xx

  5. This is perfectly normal and more of us need to share the bad as well as the insta perfect good. Am sure you’re a fab momma. Keep going – your kids think you’re awesome no matter what xxx

  6. Oh Sarah we all have days like this – I promise. You’re a wonderful Mummy and you must not put so much pressure on yourself. I always had the motto when mine were smaller that ‘today is a new day’ – put yesterday behind you and enjoy the fresh start – it will be a brighter one. Sorry for the positivity style comment – you know me! #ablogginggoodtime

  7. You’ve summed it up nicely. With my first baby I was so grateful to be a mummy (as we did IVF) and so I rarely complained about anything to do with parenting. But as I soon realised just because we complain or moan about how hard things can be it doesn’t mean we aren’t grateful and it doesn’t mean we love them with ALL of our heart. Thanks for sharing and for being so honest. x Sunita

  8. YES,YES,YES!! Great post Sarah! It is all true and so bloody hard sometimes. You are doing a brilliant job and you know, we can’t be supermum, well not every day anyway! The fact you even care enough to write about these feelings and feel guilt shows you are a wonderful mum. Be kind to yourself! #ablogginggoodtime

  9. Aww I know just how you feel and I’m sure most parents have days like this too. Being a mum is 100% the hardest job I’ve ever done xxz #fortheloveofBLOG

  10. Thanks for writing such an honest post about this – parenting IS hard. I think it’s important for us to admit this more, because sometimes the world of social media/blogging can make it look a lot more picture-perfect than it really is. #fortheloveofBLOG

  11. I was talking to a friend who chose not to have children and she asked me how I found motherhood. I said it’s wonderful but I wasn’t expecting to have to constantly remind myself to be patient, to remember things might seem like big problems in the moment but are actually small in hindsight, to value kindness and empathy over everything else, and to forgive myself for being human. She said it sounds like practising Buddhism!

    It’s so so hard. But somehow her comment made everything slightly easier for me.

    #fortheloveofBLOG

  12. This is so beautifully accurate. I have felt all of these things. Some days parenting is just so hard, and it feels never-ending. The end-of-day cry (after what feels like hours of bedtimes) used to happen to me every week. But amazingly they do grow out of some of the really tough stuff. I love these heartfelt, truthful posts!
    #EatSleepBlogRT
    ~Jess

  13. Oh I hear yah. The best but without doubt the hardest job in the world. Loaded with guilt frustration and love. If I see another Facebook post about making sodding memories or cherishing every moment I will scream. Not all moments are to be treasured! End of. Xx #fortheloveofblog

  14. I just love your honesty; it’s so true, being a mum can sometimes be totally shit and get you down and make you feel like crap. And then hopefully, the next day is better (it usually is, thank god). It’s not, by any means, any reflection of how much we love our tiddlers and it’s completely OK to say ‘today, this mummy lark was bloody SHIT’.

  15. Oh this made my eyes water a little bit too. I think boys are *probably* harder than girls (massive sweeping statement alert) – NC has made me cry twice this weekend with his little claws and he’s not even one yet. You are doing a fabulous job – not least for writing this post. Happy weekend lovely. xx

  16. So true. Sometimes it’s the pitts but then my oldest will give an actual thankyou for something or the toddler will sit down for a cuddle or my middle child will be found tidying the lounge for us and all is right with the world.

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